random thoughts

Some days are easy and some days are just getting by. The last week feels like we've just been surviving. But B. starts preschool tomorrow and there's a bunch of random thoughts I want to get down before our lives change completely. 
We had to babysit the neighbor's newborn last week and, I gotta be honest, it was the most boring thing ever. I've gotten really used to all the activities I do with B. Plus the back and forth conversation is really nice - even if he says "No" most of the time. And since I didn't feel comfortable taking her anywhere since she's really brand spanking new we all sat in the livingroom, shhh'd her, changed her pukey outfit and rocked her until she went to sleep and then B. and I hid in his room and played quietly lest we wake the sleeping beast. I've been wondering if we should have another, even though I was pretty sure one was the perfect number and this experience pretty much sealed the deal for me. At least for the next few years. I really like focusing 100% of my scattered-as-it-is attention on B. and juggling another baby would make that almost impossible. And then I'd also feel like I was short-changing the other kid of having all the experiences and attention that B. got. Yep, one and I think I'm done.
And preschool tomorrow. Gah. I think B. will love it because it'll mean playing with a bunch of kids all morning, which is just about his favorite thing to do with our little neighbors. But I'm slightly freaked out at the idea he'll be away almost every day. If I could just keep alternating between spending time with my favorite little person in the world at the beach and the Natural History Museum every morning for the rest of my life I think it would be a happy life. This summer's been a perfect bubble of bliss but it's time for him to make friends his own age and I think he's done with babysitters coming over when mommy has to work (or maybe I'm just sick of interviewing candidates). Anyway, I can't wait to see what happens - especially at lunchtime/snacktime. I don't think I saw anything on their menu that he eats at the moment. So will he cave and start trying to new things or will I just pick up on ravenous kid every day? Crystal ball, I need you!